Anyways, if you’ve ever heard people talk about how it is better to be like a child, especially in church, I’ve got some thoughts on that.

Well I’ve always just agreed with the general idea, and never given thought as to why we should be like kids or how.

So here’s some food for thought.

Specifically, here’s a passage from Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton (paraphrased because he uses big words…):
“Because children have abounding life and energy, they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, ‘Do it again’; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-ups are not strong enough to exult in monotony.

But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening “Do it again” to the moon. [Daisies may not all be alike because it was easier to make them that way.] It may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy.”

Alright, but think about it, even outside of the Christian context.

A child will watch the same movie over and over again, simply because they enjoy the movie. They do not get bored of hearing the same lines over again. They appreciate them the same, if not more, every time they hear them.

As we grow older, we grow tired of things being monotonous or repetitive. We always push for change or prefer the new and the advanced, rather than appreciating what we have.

A friend of mine and I have taken on the phrase, “Do it again” as our daily mantra. We never want to tire of seeing the sun rise or the seasons transition from summer to fall. We never want to tire of rainy days. We don’t want to be too old to laugh at the crunching sound of dried leaves beneath our feet or the way our shoes make squooshing sounds after splashing through rain puddles.

There are those people in life who naturally have that untiring love for life. Keep those people close.

I go to bed at 8:30 every Friday night.
I wake up before the sun to go running every morning.
I can’t party on weekends because I have meets.
I know what anaerobic and lactate threshold work outs are… and shudder at the words.
I run 3 miles to warm up for a work out.
I run 3 miles to cool down after a work out.
I love Body Glide.
I have a name for every pair of shoes I wear, and know how much they each weigh.
I know the mileage on all my shoes but not on my car.
I know how it feels to be numb, sweating, sore, and freezing cold all at once.
I eat GU for breakfast.
I use the metric system when I talk about distance.
I know the average pace of the top girls at all the local colleges.
I eat more than 60% of my daily calories in carbs and laugh at Atkins dieters.
I own literally 5 times as many sports bras as normal bras.
I hate tracks.

Here’s what goes through my mind while racing:

“I think I started out too fast.
That girl is just asking to be passed…
Dang it, who just passed me?
She isn’t gonna get away with that.
Don’t lose sight of her.
Oh, there she goes.
Bye chick.
Okay, next person.
Gotta get ready for that hill comin’ up.
Did I warm up long enough?
Maybe it was too long.
Oh, that girl’s slowing down.
She’s next on my list.
Dang.
How many miles left?
Not going to think about that…”

So that’s just the first half mile.

Halfway through the race:

“Why am I doing this?
Why do I run?
I don’t have to be a cross country runner.
I don’t have to be out here.
Aw crap, that other stupid hill is coming up.
I could slow down just a little couldn’t I?
30 seconds added to my time wouldn’t kill me.
Yes, it would.
30 seconds off my time would kill me, too.
Oh my gosh, this hill is going to kill me.
I’m just going to pass out, I know it.
Maybe if I trip over that rock up there and break my leg.
Would I be carried out?
Please let them carry me out.
Dang it, I passed the rock.
I guess I have to finish this hill.
“

The last half mile:

“How the hell am I supposed to finish this?
God, why am I here?
Oh God help me.
I can’t breathe.
My quads hurt.
My calves are tearing, I feel it.
My knee caps are just going to pop off.
I can’t keep running.
It’s too far.
It’s too fast.
I need to slow down.
I can’t slow down, the girl behind me will pass me.
Crap, I need to pass that girl up there, too.
No way in hell I can.
I’m going to die.
I’m just going to flat out die.
Maybe they’ll bury me on the cross country course.
That’s stupid.
I can’t do this.
I need to stop and walk.
Who the hell walks in a cross country race??
What’s wrong with me?
Keep running.
Holy crap, I’m going to pass her!
Damn hill.
God save me.
“

And I still finished. No way.

I have proof.

Case 1:
I wake up and look at my alarm clock. It reads 8:56.
The first word out of my mouth is “Dammit!” Why? Because I was stupid enough to forget to set my alarm for 5:45am so I could be at cross country practice at 6:30, and now had 30 minutes to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get my butt over to the college so I wouldn’t be late for my class at 9:30. In this case, I used profanity to express my complete stupidity in the situation.

Case 2:
I’m driving home from class in the slow lane, going 70mph. A car comes up behind me clearly doing at least 85mph. They pull around me, let me know I’m #1 and shout some expletives. 10 minutes later, I drive by them again, going a safe 67mph while passing them on the side of the road, talking to the cop who pulled them over. I’m sure they had been saying more expletives when they saw the lovely red and blue lights in their mirrors.
In this case, the idiots clearly lacked the intelligence to know they are idiots, thus were reduced to using crude and primitive language.

Case 3:
“Dude, that f***in’ professor gave us a sh**load of homework. F*** that man. That b**** has a stick up her a**. I ain’t taking this sh**.
“
Do I really need to explain this one? Clearly they lack any kind of intelligent vocabulary, thus must stick to using simple 4-5 letter words to try and express themselves.

So don’t be stupid. Don’t cuss. Go to class so you can have some kind of intelligent vocabulary so society isn’t reduced to crude, rude, unintelligent slobs spouting 4-letter words because they have nothing else in their heads.

Here’s a tip.

If you want a guy to notice you, make eye contact and smile. 95% of the time they will smile back, and the chance that he’ll initiate a conversation is relatively high at that point. This doesn’t always work well with younger guys, but I have it from good sources (yes, single guys) that it’s pretty effective with the others.

There are other variables, as well. Body language is important. If you’ve got your head up and your back straight, that makes all the difference compared to a slouched-over, uninterested posture. If you show that you’re confident, he will be more confident that he’ll get a positive response if he initiates anything.

Finally, if he does say hello or asks how you are, give a strong answer. Don’t act shy. You’ll get nowhere with that. He’ll just let you keep on walking.

Trust me. It’s like a social obligation to say hello if someone makes eye contact and smiles in passing. With a guy, this obligation can easily be played to your advantage.

The curse of being a people-watcher is… this stuff totally interests me. I’ve done a few of my own experiments.

So there it is girls. Walk with confidence, make eye contact, smile, and speak up. Give it a few tries, and I swear it works.

Note: I don’t advise trying this if YOU HAVE A GUY. Do the world a favor and leave the guys out there to the single girls, ladies, and focus on getting your own guy’s attention.

Note again: I’m not responsible for any sucky dates you end up going on for smiling at the wrong guy. Be sure to use your own good judgment when it comes to this.

I can miss half of the classes, show up long enough to pick up the handouts; the day of the exam I can wait until 30 minutes before class to study for it by glancing through the handouts, and still get one of the top grades in the class, without doing the extra credit.

5 scantron sheets for exams – $5
1 parking pass – $40
4 credits of general biology towards general ed – $80
1 useless textbook on biology and life science, yet to be opened – $120
Learning how to BS my way through community college – priceless

I decided what my web site lacked was a blog, so here it is, to terrorize all of the bloggers, wannabe bloggers, blogging critics, blog critics and general critics out there. Please, criticize away.